The Happy Masochist

I’m trying something kind of new this year: exercise.  I’ve never consistantly been able to keep a work out regimen.  My excuse is a lack of time and the fact that going to the gym is just not any fun.  I would run if I wasn’t a vampire and didn’t hate the sun and heat.  [...]

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Friday Night Lights

What is it about football that brings college students together?  As a generally academic misanthrope who hasn’t stepped into the gym since sophomore year, personally I could think of only a few reasons for attending Harvard’s first football game of the season tonight: athletic boys in spandex, cute roommate photo-ops wearing cut-off college paraphernalia, and [...]

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“Can You Tell Bearded Brooklyn Hipster Journalist Boy to give me back my graphic novel collection?”

This week, at a press conference with Hillary Clinton, I sat next to a girl who worked at the same newspaper as a boy I used to date.  Maybe, if the thing began on time, I wouldn’t have asked, but with a thirty-five minute delay, I somehow found the balls (or borrowed Hillary’s) long enough [...]

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Octopus, Bravo, Panties, Cambridge

Not eating food is not fun.  For the past week, I’ve had a face the shape of a perfect square, with the bottom two corners turning a light shade of mauve, then bright blue, then fading into a dull green.  Currently it is a pleasant shade of lime.  And my face is just beginning to [...]

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“I think that your hairstyle is very special”

Juli, I can’t believe that you haven’t even started school yet, and I’m already through my first exam!  Today was a bit monumental.  I woke up early to find out the results of the Obama-McCain lottery at Columbia (the deal: 15,000 students entered in a lottery for ~200 tickets).  Okay, so I wasn’t picked.  [...]

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Marshmallow face!

I’m sitting at home holding a frozen imitation crabmeat package up to my cheek, and it’s 5:36 in the morning.  I can’t sleep.  am strongly considering the Vicodin on on the kitchen counter…
I drove up to Cambridge with me mum and moved into my room on Sunday afternoon.  We unloaded my stuff and then headed to Phoho to [...]

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My Head Feels Like Cotton Candy

And away to his castle we’ll go
My hair is cut and then squirted all over with a solution that smells like the liquid equivalent of rotten eggs.  Yum!  Completely drenched, portions of eggy hair are then quartered off and rolled into rollers of various size and color.  I get an Easter mixture of canary [...]

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The Worst Non-American Required Reading

Shitty things that happen to me at the beginning of every semester, this one included:
 
1)    A few clueless freshmen who wear their school IDs on lanyards around their necks, because I guess someone told them that this would make them look like cool upperclassmen, crowd into an elevator with me and hit the button for [...]

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If All the World’s a Stage, Where’s My Script?

Even though I’ve been living at home the entire summer, seeing the same few people everyday, and commuting the same one and a half hours to and fro New York City, I can’t help but feel as though my life has significantly changed in the past few months.
Numerically, I’ll have one less boyfriend, two less [...]

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Irony at Thirty Thousand Feet

I go home to California for a few days at the end of every summer.  So there I was last week, with carry on luggage full of bagels, trying not to flip my shit at the woman next to me who had three open canisters of nuts on her lap, when a flight attendant cleared [...]

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